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I Lack Of Smiles

You dare tell me to smile –when they and I can’t reconcile!
Because the others don’t see me as one of their brothers
But rather something that they soak and clean in lather
My soul fits in a bowl of shame
My heart’s tearing apart
My everything– it’s shattering
Why must I take precautions about unbeknownst conditions?
What is this curse that only seems to make me worse?
I do not understand this simple, shear lack of demand
To try to know just who I am and then giving a damn!
My soul is cold, is that the goal? 
To make my mind a hole?
I “never smile” – it’s been a while, but don’t blame that on me.
It’s evident, you see, that if it were all up to me,
I’d choose only to be happy since I’ve got nothing to lose.
But also see that happiness won’t cure the loneliness
The feelings deep inside of me are ones I can confide in
While those outside may wonder what is happening inside

I “never smile”- since happiness and I don’t coincide!

Finished as of May 30, 2014

from Blogger

Filed under: I Lack Of Smiles

About the Author

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A formerly misguided young adult, trying to find his way and purpose in the world and striving on to make life bearable. I am a queer, invisibly disabled Filipino and American man with Brown skin, on my way to living my life unabashed and without shame.

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